You have made the decision to seek counseling services for your child. You may have noticed that your child is struggling with self-esteem issues, anxiety, learning differences, ADHD or in relationship to peers. Perhaps your school counselor has recommended personal counseling due to observations on how your child is functioning at school. You are on board and ready to help your child however you can. You have found a counselor who you feel has the right experience and qualifications. But you may wonder what you can expect from counseling for your child. What is your role in the process? And how does counseling for children work?

In your first visit, the counselor will want to meet with you alone to ask questions and find out more about your child and why you are seeking counseling, as well as your hopes and goals. The therapist will also want to meet with your child to get to know them and establish a trusting relationship, where your child feels safe and secure.

For younger children, toys and games are an integral part of the counseling process, and the therapist will use play to build skills and esteem. Many children look forward to therapy, and though it may appear on the outside that the child is just playing, important therapeutic work is taking place. If your child is older, play is still integrated into the work, and the therapist will incorporate activities depending on your child’s individual needs and interests. This may include art, board games, dramatic play - sometimes even video games - and therapeutic interventions will be woven into these sessions.

After an appointment, it may be tempting to ask your child about what happened or what was said. While a general inquiry into how the appointment went is fine, it is best to not question the child about specifics or ask for a play-by-play of the session. Trust that your child will share if they need to, and that your counselor will also update you if necessary.   

Periodically, the therapist will want to meet with you to teach you the strategies that they are working on with your child. This is a very important and crucial part of the counseling process. As the child’s parent, you are the agent of change, and working on the skills and interventions your child learns in therapy at home is critical to success. Your counselor may also have suggestions on parenting strategies and ways you can model certain skills at home. These suggestions are based on research on child development and parenting and will be tailored to meet your child’s specific needs. 

Trusting the process, asking questions when you are unsure, and practicing what you have learned at home are the keys to your child’s success in counseling. Congratulations on taking this important step!