by Martha B. Metzler, LPCA

The beginning of the school year can hit us like a ton of bricks. The simplicity of summer is not only refreshing but freeing for both children and adults. The school year can bring structure, which can be a beautiful thing after summer but it can also bring anxiety, stress, overscheduling, constant to-do lists, and the general feeling of rush.  Both kids and adults talk to me about how they feel like they can’t quite catch their breath when the school year hits. There is always another assignment to do, another practice to get to, or another meeting to attend. 

Both kids and adults talk to me about how they feel like they can’t quite catch their breath when the school year hits. There is always another assignment to do, another practice to get to, or another meeting to attend. 

I’m not saying that families need to scrap it all and just go off the grid…. although my family can attest to the fact that I threaten this every few weeks. But I do think there is a need for creating space for connection and simplicity in this season when everything feels complicated. 

When things seem overwhelming or complicated, I’m a big believer in the power of mindfulness and gratitude. Our days can quickly turn into a noise of homework fights, microwaving our coffee 526 times, feeling like an underpaid Uber driver for your kids, that before we know it, we don’t remember the last time we had a conversation with our kids or our kids had a conversation with us that didn’t involve an agenda. If this resonates with you, there is hope. It’s simple… but not easy. Even on the hardest or busiest days, carve out some intentional time in order to create space for gratitude. 

If you are like me, I need to start small. So, a few years ago, I gave myself a gratitude challenge. Before my feet hit the ground in the morning, I wanted to claim three things I was thankful for. It doesn’t have to be grand, in fact, a lot of times gratitude lies in the simple things. It’s being thankful for coffee, the birds I hear outside of my window, or the fact that I am able to take a deep breath. What started as  something I had to force myself to do, has now become so second-nature and life-giving. It has created space for being mindful of the things I do have, instead of the things I don’t. There are a lot of things we can’t control in our lives, but there are certain things we can. Carving out time for yourself, and then time for your family to claim gratitude when things seem chaotic, gives you control over pivoting your mindset. 

Gratitude can be a powerful tool against anxiety, depression, stress, or even anger. It is a tool to help redirect your thoughts and outlook and give power to something more life-giving rather than life-draining. Having conversations with your kids while you are driving or sitting around the supper table about what you are thankful not only breathes gratitude into your family dynamic, but it also allows for some sweet moments of building each other up. Next time you are together, have each member of the family go around and say something they are thankful for in that person. It may seem forced at first, and you can count on some eye-rolling if you have teenagers in the house but it will catch on. If nothing else, you are creating space for them to be aware and mindful. You are creating space for your family to take a beat and notice the good, life-affirming things in your world and in each other. You are creating space for gratitude and as Brene Brown says, “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness- it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”